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| Where is the trust? Trust is far and seldom in the world today. I find myself on the brink of trusting someone completely and find out that they have insecurities that wont allow them to open up all the way. Its sad how trust has to be earned in this world. Even the nicest person you've met can be seemingly super trustworthy and the next second once you hit a nerve, completely shut off to the world. Wow...Why is it that my moral standards are so high? I believe in trust in all, but even though I am not to type to EVER hurt anyone people are still always reluctant to open up no matter how close of a relationship we have. I have to admit though, I close to never open up to people. Sadly every time I have it seems like I always mistake their character and they leave me to be bitter at them and any other person. Its funny though, that we all have ingrained in us to long for relationships where trust is fully there. I'm more than sure that people have found it, and I believe they are very very lucky few people in the world. I had pride in the fact that I can figure out things very quickly and efficiently....seems like life and relationships are just too unstable to be figured out. People will always confuse me, their intentions to their goals aspirations and what they believe to be important in their life...it seems I cant find someone who is straight forward and doesnt hide behind some kind of insecurity. Actually now that I think about it thats everyone huh? Sad...
Peace
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| I want to post something significant but yet another night where I stare at the blank entry page and my mind draws a blank....Lately I have been cutting out thing from my life that are dragging me down and not helping me to better myself. I find myself always caught up in the moments these days....I dont know eh
peace
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| Another sleepless night, it seems I am becoming an insomniac. These sleepless nights always awaken some sort of philosophical thoughts. I lie in bed just thinking about my life everything from the past, present and future. As of late most of these thoughts were doubts about friendships and future goals. My friends are really starting to annoy me to a point where I dont want to associate with them or anyone that is connected to them. I think I am going to just remove them from my life, its the easy way out but I dont think I can handle being constantly angry. I've noticed that our generation is way too narcissistic...they are so much so that even the slight bit of humility seems vain to them. But without having humility to down cast ones self how do you mature or even grow? My personal opinion is you dont. Why bother living if you cant understand that in life, everything isnt a joke. It may seem harsh but its a serious issue that I worry about for so many people....friends, family, and acquaintances. Sure its possible to live life without being humble...actually I'm sure there are very successful people who are in their position just because of that attribute. But one day when your old you'll eventually understand that being humble is part of growing up. I feel sorry for people who are narcissistic, they could learn so much more by just letting go a little bit of that conceit and actually wanting to have the drive to grow up. Sadly people who are like that, are just too into themselves that they'll never see any other point of view until they are old and frustrated. I've seen so much change in my writing since I've started this xanga...I hope that my thoughts will always yield provocative writing that will challenge people because there is ALWAYS more room to grow...or in the flow of this post theres always that possibility to stunt growth and end it all together.
peace
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| Fear...what a strong emotion. It can instantly change your mind. What thought of safety makes even the strongest of people break down. I personally believe that one cannot be fearless, for if someone ever is they are ignorant. Fear comes from wisdom...because to fear something you need to be educated on what can happen if that fear is to come into reality. Sometimes fear can consume a persons life and drive them by affecting their choices and life style. Fear is needed in ones life to be humble. It reminds us that we are human and cannot control every aspect of our lives. I guess a type of humility comes with fear but to let it over take us brings us down to shame. Its so interesting that we are so scared of the unknown. Fears seem to be irrational yet so necessary to live. Its so hard to separate what fear is constructive or destructive because its so confusing and blinding. It might seem that the fear that bothers us the most is the one that is most needed in our life to help us grow. Yet on the flip side, the smallest fear that we dismiss can cause us to break down and drag what we hold dear. Odd....fear brings peace and war on us all.
peace
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| Sincerity...such a needed trait in this world. It seems like everyone is trying to protect their image by working around the truth and constructing lies upon lies to hide ones true nature. I must admit I do but to be truthful I try not to hide much at all. If asked a question I will answer truthfully even if it may make that person think badly of me. Given there are things that we do that are much too embarrassing to tell even the closest people to our heart. But it would just be so freeing to know each and every aspect of the people we love in our lives. I personally think it would make that relationship even that much closer. To know someone so intimately that you wouldnt have to hide a thing, seems like that wont ever be the case even with our closest friends. This world is so dead set on judging people. Makes me sad to see people become so 2 faced, even the people I thought I knew so well are nothing like the person I thought they were. It sickness me how this world has become so comfortable with lying and hiding behind closed lives. I might becoming paranoid in thinking that people are lying to me constantly, kind of seems unfair to give the truth and recieve lies. Am I putting myself out there just to get back a fake fabricated lie? I think I am bothered by so many things these days ugh.
peace
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